maybe sometimes i am too blinded that i didn't open my small eyes big enough to see. dreaming of fairytale which will never come true but to work hard myself to get wat i wan in my life instead of dreaming my life away..
have been having very bad headache for the past few days, my head feeling so heavy suddenly, drying my eyes out whenever im alone, cant stop thinking of everything. this is the path i have chooses but i knw god is there for me.
my main goal nw is to pass my driving license, get my diploma, get a better paying job, spent more time on my precious boy & be there when he needs me & last by not least be HAPPY...
4 comments:
Its has never been a fairy tale... Its just about how u wan to accept a love by giving the same care & concerns in return. Give and take has always been the foundation of every relationship. Love and her vows are sacred but u took them as sweet nothings and lies.
U took ur bf's affordable lifestyle as a given, his changes for u for granted, his giving in as demand, his sincere requests as careless whispers and his careless actions as unfaithfulness.
He has, never touched another female since with u, nor habour changing a gf regardless of others' opinions. Deep down, never had he mind the differences in background but only sincerely hope to lift u up to a better life through advise which u deemed as pressure and despise.
Is this the freedom u seek? The freedom to be stubborn, to be blinded by ur inability to foresee life's needs and challenges?
U only focus on shortcomings of him but had never u appreciated his doings, his love behind his words and plans for u.
To err is human... to forgive and change is true love. No matter what, I believe God has his plans for each of us. I shall not desire what he does not grant nor will I ask for what he will not give.
Of all words written and said, the saddest are "It could have been". U choose that despite misunderstandings. U chose to force urself into a corner although he tries to guide u along to a better life. U choose to treat his love for granted. In life, we choose. God gave us the freeedom to choose, even if its a dead end or a better life.
If u love someone, everything in life including career, risks and status can be compromised. He can. But can u? Even in a softer tone? A more understanding attitude? A more communicative being?
Sometimes, we are all blinded by our own needs, greed and status and fear of how people judge us. He let go of those for u. Had u matured enuf to do the same?
Time will always fade memories but nvr heal whats deep down inside...
let me just say that not everyone is able to FORGET and FORGIVE whatever the other party had did before, even when he said that he didn't do it now. its HARD to trust again. the main problem is that he is way too possessive & controlling my life.
he said that he is not being unfaithful now, but why will he wants to have fb account and keep adding girls there, telling me that he is not flirting in there but when i had my friendster account he told me strictly that i am not allow to add any guys in there, plus his msn is full of girls which he don't even know, and mine he deleted & block them, despite some of them are my ex colleague, ex school mates & friends.
so do you think the gf will be very secure of this? when asked, he will said that in case we break up, then he needed someone to confort him, plus telling me that he is a guy & he know what he is doing. not only that, he can go clubbing with his frens telling me that all is guys but refuse to bring me along. telling me that he saw how the girls there reacted, how would i know there wont be girls around then? its not like i love to go clubbing or anything. she feels really really insecure. its totally unfair to the gf, don't you agree?
you have to be neutral in things, if you don't want the other party doing the things you hate then you don't do it too, then all will be well right. how can the guy say he can and tells you that you cant? its totally unfair. in this way the girl will never be secure being with him. that's why the gal is always giving him attitude.
you know, all the above is totally very inmature. go around telling others see what they will say. its ridiculous, absurd. don't you feel?
talking about luxury, i don't need branded stuff or what so even. i've always lead a very simply life. i cant take it is that whenever he do something wrong which hurts me, making me sad, he will always find words to cover his backside. not only that, he will use vulgarly on me whenever he is not happy with me, plus he will scold me likei'm nobody, calling me names etc.
he said that he don't mind the differences in our background. i bet he DO. he dare to introduce me as his gf to his average friends, but to his high flyer friends he said that i am his FRIEND. can you believe it? he DO mind my background for god sake. whenever i hear him saying i am a FRIEND, it really hurt me badly. when asked, he will say that its because i have not settle my problems, so he cant said that i'm his gf to his high flyer friends. no logic at all, don't you agree?
always telling me that i don't appreciate whatever he do & take things for granted, don't you think that i feel secure after all the things that he have done? plus if he really love me as what he said, then he should love my son too. i am not a kid, i know what i need to do, don't have to plan my life for me.
Haven't u realized the damage u mentioned was nothing half to what u done on him?
Is his temper comparable to yours? Is he as unreasonable as you? Or did he ever ill treat u or neglect u whenever ur in need both financially and emotionally? Had u ever reflect how u treated him and in return the level? When has it been that he wasn't the one to give in each time? Telling tales to friends are easy and it makes everyone comfortable to look @ 1 side of the coin. Self-reflection is part of life and both are at fault.
He disliked clubbing but mostly was for work. He was open to sharing his facebook and msn password.
And in his line of work, he can't declare his gf is a wife of another legally. But at least he is open to share your status and presence to his own friends. Is that too much to ask for? Or are you inconsiderate and over-demanding, not being sensitive enough to a balanced and pragmatic social approach?
For you, he changed from a regional role to a local role... Moved from a easy job to a painful one, went through pains to save up and slog double to cover your ignorance and wilful perspective of how costly life can be. All these are higher levels of sacrifice and love which are unimportant to u. U r still living in ur small and confined world of how easy life can be, like a high school student living on pocket money.
U hope to raise a kid but refuse to upgrade ur skills... Didn't it take much persuasion from him before u realise the need? If he was wrong, why are u doing ur dipl now?
He wanted to recommend u into a bank not because he minds your status but rather granting u a headstart among many other people who will fight to grab such an opporunity. Once again, u took it wrongly upon ur wilfulness to misunderstand his intentions.
Ur not a kid... but u think like one in many ways. U know how to plan ur life but wrongly... More importantly its not "u" in a marriage, its should always be "us". That statement u made explains it all.
There has never been a perfect person, nor a perfect lifetime. Better or worse is always relative and subjective. Juz hope u lead a better and happier life, a new found freedom as u mentioned w/o him. He is a pain and a chain to u as u sounded. U shd celebrate and renounce your joy moving forward.
Cheers :)
What’s the meaning that all the above said has got nothing to do with him?? Of cse it DOES. If not why will she say it our LOUD??
Oh come on, don’t come & tell her that his temper is better then her after all that he had done. And let me remind him. If he’s temper is better them her’s, then he wont have beaten her the other time, despite her slapping him. Yes is was her fault for slapping him BUT it was because he didn’t show her respect and as a guy he shouldn’t have beaten her like crazy. That was one of the things which she worries.
What if they married?? And he is not happy with her about certain things, then what, he will beat her again right. Anyway, how I treated him, is all because of him doing things which I hate. Haven he think about it y? so please don’t keep saying as if I’m the want ill treating him, saying till he is an ANGEL.
He said that he will give her his facebook & msn password so that I will feel secure, well let me tell you, ive heard him saying to me so many times & he didn’t even gave it to me, even if he gave it to me, after a while he will change it, plus when I just browses through his account, he will say that I am finding trouble to quarrel again well in fact he is the want who always find things to quarrel with me.
Talking about his work, which he said that he can’t declare me as his gf despite me being a wife of another, who will know that?? Don’t tell me they will go check my record. No right? So this means that she is not being sensitive enough & inconsiderate or is it all his excuses which he is trying to push the blame too?
Please don’t tell her then because of her you changed your regional role to a local role, fact is he also don’t trust her. Saying that all this he is doing for her. if he claims that he is doing so much for her, then why would he ask her to get another part time job? Well is because he worry that she will use his money. Telling me that the economies is bad, hoping that I will get a better job. Then let me tell you something, even an average family is able to look after a kid & the household, they don’t have to be really rich for it.
He always LOVE to put words in her mouth, did she ever talk about wanting FREEDOM as what he said she wanted? The main problem is that he said that if we were to married & have a house of our own & with our kids, I wont be able to bring my boy home with me, for that I really can’t accept it. If he really loves her, he will have to love my son too.
I’ve seem other single mum out there, who had kids but they are able to find a guy to love them & their kids, if they cant then I’ll rather be single & to spent my time with my son.
After all this, he still doesn’t understand why she wants to leave him. Only keep pushing all the blames to her, just saying how bad she is to him.
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