what's done is done, it cant be undone

i have not been eating since mon till today.. dun really feel hungry to eat anything.. well of cse i do drink my water as dunno why its kinda make me thirsty a lot.. ytd night before i went for my slp i decided to drink my slimming tea to see if i will actually shit anything out.. guess wat, today i did shit out.. soft stools but dunno y got like a bit of blood... mostly when i have constipation then i will bleed but now with soft stools also got blood.. so weird.

my tea..


whats more can i say i also dunno... its OVER it really is over.. but i jus simply cant get over it just like that.. i try to put up a strong happy face but deep down me, im really not happy, not happy at all not even a bit.. how i wish i were like them easily to let got & move on just like that.. why, why i cant just simply forget about everything? i really hate this feelings.. how much time do i really need to get over all this.. i simply do not know too...

i always wonder why did i ever get myself into this messy.. why whatever things i decide it always goes wrong.. how many more times do i need to keep repeating myself like that? im so tired at times.. really just feel like gg mia. just be alone..

sometimes when i need someone around me just to pour out everything i don't have.. hate it that i dun have a family where i can lean on when i needed them there.. why must i be the want to carry everything myself.. is so unfair, wonder why was i let out to this world for.. seeing others who are better off then me im so very envy.. i really dunno how to look for my own happiness..

am so very afraid of this world.. really do have many different kind of people around.. how i wish i was not even born to this complication world to suffer.. am so very afraid of people out there too, dun even know if they are true to you or just thinking some craps thoughts in their mind..