Changing new for Better Life

meet up with Aling after work for our fav Sushi Tel. didn't manage to shop around as we were busy chit chatting =)

i learn from her that she decided to change her name and from my understanding she told me that after she changed her name she got better prospect in her work life.

so i was wondering to myself i should change my name too as I've always feel that im very suay[bad luck] all my life. since young stay in children home never mind, once i came out from there found a guy stayed with him got his baby then we married, but our married broke down move out from there rented a rm to stay by myself leaving my son there.

as a mother, i have to separate from my son. why u may ask. becos i dun have any parents or anyone to help me take care so i got no choice but to leave my boy with that useless father of his mother to look after.

its so hard not being able to be with your son at a point when he is growing up. especially when he is now Primary one and i cant possible to be with him and teach him to study all the time as im not staying with him. so the only time i can teach him is during wkend when i bring him home. other ppl wkend they get to enjoy, relax but for me i cant i have to teach him to study not i dun like to teach him but look he too need to rest during wkend like most kids does but he cant.

if i dun teach him, NO ONE will. then wat will happen in the future for him? he will be wasted. further more now i feel that he is quite BAD in his studies. sometimes i really dunno wat to do.

so u see my life SUCKS! where got like others, life so good. even if their marriage broke down but at the very least, their kid still staying with them unlike me. so when i heard that my fren said that she change her name her life started to change for the better of cse i wanted to give it a try.

but then again, im after all a Christian. i grew up knowing the Lord Jesus Christ if i believe in all this things, i may not be a good christian. but again i think to myself, if he is so good so almighty why will he make me suffer in this world? i though that he have died on the cross to wash away our sins? then why did he give me this kind of life?

why kind of good reason is that. sometimes i really doubt him. but if i doubt him as what ppl say, the devils is at work. but i have been believing in him all this years but is he really there for me when i needed him?

is Jesus Christ real after all? will miracles happen? all this i do not know, as I've yet to got ANY of it yet.